The Account of a Lifetime

February 21, 2008

Shyness when you know the answer

Filed under: Cogitations,Reflections — xisor @ 3:30 pm

It’s not often that I find myself readily lamenting how shy I can be, but this last week or two I’ve really noticed it. In classes these days, things are really quite difficult. Good, but really difficult nontheless.

 The lecturer’ll often ask a question. Typically simple, but I seem to often know the answers. No biggie, it’s always pleasing to know you know the answer. (Assuming, of course, that I’m not just succumbing to confirmation bias.) In any case, it’s also a bit tedious after a while to notice that you’ve known the answer to every question posed yet still sat, awkwardly, saying nothing.

So, what’s the remedy? Well, it’s sortof obvious, speak up if you think you know the answer. But that’s the crux of the shyness. You don’t. I can’t. It’s not exactly a fear of being embarassed, yet on the cusp of deciding to say something, it’s always a sense of looming terror that hangs over you, that stops you (me) speaking.

 It’s really quite annoying. And even still, if my answer’s wrong it’ll illustrate it for everyone else. I’d like to believe that everyone has this sort of inner dialogue wth themselves in class. Of course, some will smugly know the answer and watch the rest sweating it, some more will be petrified that they don’t know the answer. For me it’s not quite any of those…I just…I’m reluctant when the push comes to shove.

Furthermore, I found myself praising people for asking insightful questions a lot, recently. This is good, I think, but I’m soewhat worried it’s the foundation of jealousy. Even still, for now it presents an aspiration: that I would like to start asking insightful questions again. Indeed: simply asking questions again would be a start!

I came across something a few days ago that I’d not seen before. A webcomic (I’ve seen those, but it was this particular one that got to me). It mentioned a few things about heightening your curiosity and enjoyment of life. I think I might well try to adopt them!

Take wrong turns,
Talk to strangers,
Open unmarked doors,
Go over to groups of people doing odd things and ask about the stuff.

I think that sort of thing could be a good ‘key’ to unlocking a bit more impulse within myself. Spontaneity, I suppose. It’s nice to indulge in such ways, I hope. I cannot reason any particular downside to this sort of arrangement. We’ll see how it goes, I suppose.

 As a final note, the shyness itself might be overcome this way. But I wouldn’t want to lose it completely. I almost did in fifth and sixth year at highschool and then first year at uni…and I think I became a bit of a pratt. Some shyness is good, but not too much. Certainly not what I have now!

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